I'm Too Pretty to Do Homework...

Comics Journalist Heidi MacDonald highlighted this little story from TODAYMoms.com (a site I normally don't visit, believe it or not) about a shirt for sale on JC Penney's website. The sweatshirt, for girls, is emblazoned with the line, "I'm too pretty to do homework, so my brother has to do it for me."

I know, right? The message is just hideous on every level. Pretty = Dumb. Homework is for Ugly People. Girls shouldn't have to do work. On top of that, the thing is fuckin' ugly.

Well, after the story was posted on Today's website, Penney pulled the item and issued an apology (man, I would hate to be the buyer who picked that item, and not just because I would thereby be a moron who probably never liked to do homework).

But what's gotten this on VOX PLOPS isn't just the story in and of itself, it's also—you guessed it—the absolutely moronic comments on the TODAYMoms article.

A few choice tidbits from the masses:

Lisa R says (via Facebook):
Oh my god get over it. It is just a shirt. This country is so sensitive about things.
This comment gets the Thumbs Up LIKE by 41 of her friends, and one of them comments:
I 100% agree with you Lisa!! It's a shirt, I don't know why people feel like they need to over-dramatize everything!

Richard B says,
I think it would be a good guy gift.

Andrew R. from Winstead, AZ says to suck it up:
It's the same schtick you see on any number of shirts this time of year. My boys have all sorts of them that say they can't do homework because of video games, or that something was their brother's or sister's fault, or that they'll get to it "after one more level..." Stop having such thin skins.

Kathy R. thinks it's much ado about nothing!:
Oh my goodness... It's just silly kid shirt, and I have read much worse! I don't know why people feel like they need to over-dramatize, take that energy and make positive thing's happen around you..quit complaining! geeze

Erik C, like so many others, misses the point:
Seriously. People are in a flap about a benign tee shirt a kid wears? If you don't want your child to wear it, do the crazy thing and act like a parent and say no. But please, you have no right to say no for my child.

People objecting to this shirt aren't saying that you shouldn't be allowed to buy it. They're not saying the company doesn't have the right to manufacture it. They're saying that it's pathetically sad that it was ever made in the first place and that someone at one of the nation's largest retailers thought it was a good idea to put it into their stores. I despise Political Correctness. But how anyone can defend this shirt is beyond me. Objecting to this piece of shit is not Political Correctness, it's just... correct.

Green Lantern post-credits scene: "Fite the green"

There's probably no more depressing repository of ignorance and stupidity than YouTube. No doubt that's because the postings are by people who use the internet to watch more Tee-Vee than do that thing, oh, what's it called... you know, the brain thing with the words.... READING. That's it!

The following are just a few posts that followed a video of the post-credits sequence from GREEN LANTERN (so few people saw it, even fewer sat through the end credits) that teased Sinestro embracing the power of the Yellow ring.

MrMicropimpin' notes:

on the second one is gonna b dope cuz thats wen we gonna c sinestro fite the green l but he doesnt hav fear so y does it work on him n wat wud happen if he had both on wat wud his suit look lik n him

to which whoregay responds:

@MrMicropimpin Yes. "Fite". Jesus, I wonder what part of the fucking cell block your father was from.

Ohhh, MrMicropimpin' didn't like that:

@whoregay y u gotta start some shit over the net u fucking bitch i bet u wudnt say that to my face cuz i wud "fight" u n woop ur ass u fag n my dad wasnt part of no cell block but i bet u were matter of fact u were in every cell block every cell giving the guy inmates some oral pleasure wit a youtube name whoregay u must of enjoy sucking dick n getting fuck in the ass in prison u faggett ass nigga, get the fuck outta here u big quir

MrMicropimpin' continues his onslaught against another YouTube naysayer who questions his sexuality and grammar skills (or should I say skillz):

u no for a loser who stays on youtube beating his 1cm dick wit tweezers to gay porn (yo mom told me wen i fucked her) wud reply quicker but wat u expect from someone who eats dick for a living n i think i wont go back to the second grade but u need to go back to kindergarten to b taught on how to suck dick cuz didnt u go to a fag school but thats only if u tyrnna b a pro in the sucking dick gay boy business lik yo mom is at suckin me n my potnas dick cuz i got that hoe on a leash

Somewhat more on topic, Danzinnyman notes:

HOLLY SHIT i did not see that when i saw the movie cuz i went with a chick so she wanted to like not stay till after the credits thats awesome that there gonna do sinestro corps ....so i wonder if there going to have like kyle rayner, guy gardner, ion spectre john stewart and the blue ring like when hal jordan goes green and blue lanter style

nickb comments, with an unsurprising lack of self-awareness:

And learn to type with some fucking grammer....Jesus people

axayd doesn't seem to grasp how these movies are made:

hopefully they wont use too many special effects innn the sequel... i mean, why would u want to do special effects on the earths sky and make it look pink?

And, finally (I wish), rgarcia99 sums up most posters' feelings with this haiku:

its gonna be gay green lantern sucks dick the movie a part 2 rather reboot

POSTED on YouTube, July-August 2011

Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes

I’m a human being so I was appalled at the anti-human spectacle of this movie. I’m sorry, but the “goddamned dirty apes” were bad guys—from Caesar on down--and a serious threat to human society, so I wasn’t going to root for them. It would be like rooting for the aliens in WAR OF THE WORLDS or INDEPENDENCE DAY. Or the giant ants in THEM! Or a World War II movie in which the Nazis win and the audience is expected to cheer them on. Alas, I can hear you say, but the ape monsters were created by humans, so didn’t the humans deserve their comeuppance? Well, that’s like making the case in that hypothetical pro-Nazi movie that the Germans were so screwed by the Treaty of Versailles after WWI that the rise of Nazism was inevitable. Sure, that’s a valid argument, but does it mean we shouldn’t have fought them? Does it justify the Holocaust? Fortunately for 20th Century Fox, there are enough self-hating humans in the audience to have made RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES a big hit.

Posted on Mobius Home Video Forum on August 12, 2011

VOX PLOPS COMMENTS:
I'm not sure how seriously to take this. I'm willing to grant that it is satiric, faux outrage: it was posted by a "Brian Camp" after all. But even so...why does everything have to come back to Nazis? Isn't there any other symbol or metaphor for bad things? Are Nazis all we have left?

At this point, using the Third Reich as a point of comparison is like yelling "Freebird!" at a concert.